Wonder Woman 1984, The Fake Script
by Dufusyte
Summary: Fanfiction based on production stills and comic source material.
1. The Cat

Wonder Woman 1984, The Fake Script

[SPOILER ALERT: May contain spoilers for the movie "Wonder Woman 1984" due to shared comic source material.]

Nighttime, pitch black, the distant roar of a crowd…a few random drum beats punctuate the starry sky as a rock group gets ready for their next song. As the camera flies in, we see the oval of a stadium lit up for a night concert. Suddenly the song comes to life with a sizzling drum riff; the guitar kicks in, and it's _"Been A Long Time Since I Rock and Rolled!"_

Posters around the stadium indicate we're at a Led Zeppelin reunion tour (which happened in 1985, but let's say it's 1984).

A haze of smoke wafts above the packed audience, and in the shadows we see the ethereal figure of an ancient Cheetah spirit, prowling slowly around the stadium, looking for someone to inhabit. It's been a long time.

 _It's been a long time since I rock and rolled.  
_ _It's been a long time since I did the Stroll.  
_ _Oh let me get it back, let me get it back, let me get it back,  
_ _baby where I come from.  
_ _It's been a long time, been a long time,  
_ _been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time!_

The cheetah spirit makes its way through the dazed masses, looking, sniffing, twitching its ears to find just the right one.

 _It's been a long time since the book of love.  
_ _I can't count the tears of a life with no love.  
_ _Carry me back, carry me back, carry me back,  
_ _baby, where I come from.  
_ _It's been a long time, been a long time,  
_ _been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time!_

The cheetah spirit spots a figure highlighted in the moonlight; could this be the one?

 _Seems so long since we walked in the moonlight.  
_ _Making vows that just can't work right._

The figure opens her arms to the music.

 _Open your arms, opens your arms, open your arms,  
_ _baby, let my love come running in._

And the cheetah spirit leaps in to possess her; it is Barbara Ann Minerva. She smiles a cheshire smile with a bit of fang showing, and she doesn't even know that Cheetah is within her.

 _It's been a long time, been a long time,  
_ _been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time!_

*Cut to morning, an alarm clock, Diana Prince reaches over sleepily to silence it. A cat pounces on her, startling the audience. It is just Diana's cat, and it slinks away.

DP (Diana Prince): Steve, come back. Steve, come to me. (calling the cat)

DP looks at the empty spot next to her in the bed, runs her hand on the vacant sheet, and sighs.

DP: Steve… (the cat hops up on the bed and DP lifts it to her face) I love you Stevie, yes I do, yes I do… (cat meows and wiggles out of DP's grasp and scampers away).

DP: (half to herself, half to the cat) What do you think Steve; do you think we should get a roommate? It's been a long time since there was life around here. A long lonely time...

*cut to Diana jogging in the morning air, she comes upon a group of joggers and overtakes them rather quickly.

LEAD JOGGER: Keep the pace. Keep the pace everybody.

DP passes the leader and is soon solo again.

LEAD JOGGER: She's gonna burn out. Ignore her.

*cut to Diana eating breakfast alone at a diner. She looks out the window and sees a college campus, students walking, full of life on an overcast morning… She flips her paper placemat over and starts drawing a flyer with an available red crayon.

*cut to Diana pinning her flyer to the college kiosk board. "ROOMMATE WANTED" etc. And she walks away, down the sidewalk, alone.

*Scene, Barbara Ann Minerva's kitchen, same morning. She is getting breakfast for her four dobermanns, and herself. We hear her daughter from offscreen.

DAUGHTER: How was the concert last night, Mom?

BA (Barbara Ann): Incredible. It brought back memories. There's nothing like a Led Zep concert.

DAUGHTER: Nobody listens to them anymore, Mom. Were they all old people like you?

Cheetah takes offense and snarls. Note, Cheetah comes and goes in Barbara Ann, kind of like Smeagol/Gollum. Barbara is oblivious to anything Cheetah does through her. Cheetah is still in human form at this point in the story, and does not yet take on a full-fledged feline form.

DAUGHTER: What was that?

BA: What was what?

DAUGHTER (still offscreen in the next room): It sounded like a, snarl.

CH (Cheetah): Heh! (then CH spots BA's bowl of cereal and sticks her face in it, lapping up the milk)

DAUGHTER: Mom?

BA: Yes? (BA notices the milk on her face and does a double take, but immediately CH takes over again.)

CH licks her wrists and hands. The dogs give her the eye. CH spots the dogs' bowl of water on the floor, and gets down on all fours to lap it up as well. The four dogs come face to face with her, growling.

CH: Heh! (snickers, and swats the face of one of the dogs; they pounce on her. Dog/cat fight ensues)

CH bats the dogs around the kitchen, sending them flying, biting their heads off etc until they are all dead. BA stands in the middle of the kitchen with carnage all around.

Daughter rushes into the doorway.

DAUGHTER: Mom? (crying) Mom! Are you alright? What happened?

BA: What happened? (a bit dazed and confused, looks around, bewildered)

DAUGHTER: Did they attack you?

BA: No. …I don't think so.

DAUGHTER: Did you do this?

BA: (in shock) No, I would never...

CH: (taking over, and cutting off BA) I did it. Heh!

DAUGHTER: (horrified at the alter ego) Who are *you*?

CH: Heh… (doesn't know what to do, decides to solve the awkward situation by eliminating the daughter with one swat. Fade to black.)

*Scene: At the mall, Diana is shopping alone, or just wandering, alone. She comes to a standstill in front of a wall of television sets playing current shows. She pays them little attention, and focuses on her own reflection in the reflective wall of screen. She sees her face, and contemplates her own melancholy. Then, in the reflection, walks Steve Trevor, dressed in modern clothes. He stands there, and DP frowns slightly, staring at him in the reflection, wondering if she is seeing things, or what. Steve walks away, and DP whirls around to spot him directly, but he is not to be seen.

DP rushes to the entrance of this store in the mall, and looks out at the mall goers milling about the walkway, trying to spot the figure she saw. She looks left, then right, not sure of her bearings due to the mirrored reflection she was looking at. She makes bold to cry out.

DP: Steve!

Several male mall goers look at her, responding to their name. DP excuses herself without a word; she picks a direction and hurries through the mall goers, looking for Steve Trevor.

She overtakes a man or two in a similar leather jacket, but they are not him. Then she sees him, standing alone, looking rather lost.

DP: STEVE! (DP runs and embraces him like a long lost love she has found after three-score years)

ST: Diana? (Steve is somewhat disoriented)

DP: Is this a dream? (she holds his face in her fingers) Are you a dream?

ST: I don't know. Where are we?

DP justs holds him tightly, not ready to deal with the irrationalities just yet. If it's a dream, she wants at least one good hug out of it.

ST: (would prefer some answers, to hugs) What are we doing here?

DP: (Looks him in the eye) I don't know. But I'm glad you're here. (and that's all the answer she can give)

ST: (embraces DP and shares in the moment, letting all the questions wait, while the two lost souls cling to each other for refuge)

*cut to Cheetah walking the city streets. At this point Cheetah is still in human form, but takes over Barbara Ann's body in cat-like mannerisms.

Cheetah sees some leopard skin outfits in the store window and wants one. She enters the mall.

*cut to a shopper in the store holding a leopard skin outfit up to herself, for size. Cheetah stands next to her, eyeing the outfit. The shopper says,

SHOPPER: What you lookin' at?

CH: (swipes the outfit out of the shopper's hand with one swipe)

SHOPPER: (mad) You did *not* just take that dress from me! (and grabs it back)

CH: (grabs it back)

SHOPPER: Give me that! (and they struggle over the merchandise)

CH: (sinks her teeth into the outfit and rips it out of the shopper's hand. We hear the cloth tear in the process)

SHOPPER: Are you crazy, girl? (starts hitting Cheetah with her pocketbook)

Cheetah runs away on all fours with the outfit in her mouth. She takes refuge in a changing stall.

*cut back to ST and DP embracing.

ST: You're the only thing I recognize. The only thing that makes sense.

DP: You don't make any sense at all, and I don't care. I just want you here.

ST: Where am I, Diana?

DP: (separating a bit, she takes his hands in hers) You're with me. And that's all that matters.

*cut to Cheetah, slinking through the mall in her leopard skin outfit. Cat-like, she hops up on the railing (second floor) and walks along it, to the dismay of the on-lookers.

GUY: Hey lady, get down from there. It's not safe!

But Cheetah leaps onto a rope suspended across the chasm, and scampers across the advertising banner to the other side.

*cut to ST and DP

ST: Everything looks so strange.

DP: (a small laugh) It's just the style. You'll get used to it.

ST: What am I wearing? (grabs the fanny pack) What's this? (spots Cheetah scampering around the mall) What's that?

DP: It's a fanny pack. I'll explain later.

ST: No, the cat, the - the woman.

DP: (not looking in the direction of Cheetah, has no idea what ST is talking about) It's a cat, Steve. Try to remain calm.

ST: It's a woman.

DP: There are lots of people. Come on, let's go some place quiet.

DP ushers ST along, heading out of the mall. ST keeps looking back at Cheetah's antics. Cheetah, on all fours, rubs her bum against a pillar.

ST: She's…peeing on a wall.

DP: Cats mark their territory. She ought to be neutered.

ST: Spayed.

DP: Right.

ST: Girls are spayed; boys are neutered.

DP cheerfully hails a taxi while a worried Steve follows close behind.

DP takes ST's arm for a moment as they wait for the taxi to pull up.

DP: (with a twinkle in her eye) I'm not spayed.

ST: You're not a cat.

And they get in the taxi.

*Scene: the Cold War subplot. Shadowy Russians conspire in a shadowy room.

BOSS: (sliding a black and white photo of President Reagan across the table) You see this man? He has one objective - to destroy Communism.

KGB GUY: We know, boss.

BOSS: I want him dead.

KGB GUY: We know, boss, but every time -

BOSS: - a girl gets in the way.

KGB: A woman.

BOSS: I keep hearing about this woman, but I never see her. Maybe she's just an excuse for your incompetence.

KGB: Our..?

BOSS: I want him dead, I want her dead, I want them both dead, dead, dead. Do you understand?

KGB: Yes boss.

*Scene: DP and ST in the peace and quiet of the Natural History Museum. They sit on a little bench in front of an exhibit. The museum is practically deserted today.

DP: Do you remember anything?

ST: ...no.

DP: Do you remember flying in a plane?

ST: I flew in lots of planes.

DP: Do you remember a plane… blowing up? (she gets a little choked up)

ST: ...yeah.

DP: And then?

ST tries to think back, when suddenly DP's pager goes off.

DP: For heaven's sakes… (she checks the page).

ST: What's that?

DP: The worst invention ever. Can you believe it? I have to go.

ST: Where?

DP: To work. The Smithsonian - it's just around the corner. This shouldn't take long. I'll be back in a minute. Stay here. We'll go to lunch. Promise, you won't disappear on me. Maybe I should take you.

ST: I'll be here.

DP hugs him.

DP: I love you. Don't go away…again. (starting to get choked up)

ST: I'll be here.

DP rushes off, and ST looks around, abandoned.

*cut to Barbara Ann standing motionless among stuffed gazelles, giraffes, and lions. She starts to cry very quietly at first, and then it wracks her whole body.

ST: Are you ok? (approaching her)

BA: (shakes her head 'no')

ST: What's wrong? (putting his hand on her shoulder)

BA: I…I think I'm going mad.

ST: There, there.

BA: Did you ever find yourself somewhere, and not know how you got there?

ST: Maybe.

BA: I don't know where I've been all day. My dogs died. (she weeps bitterly) I think I killed them. (she can hardly say it)

ST: (shares her grief. Then he thinks he might recognize her) Were you…at the mall?

BA: They kicked me out. I was wearing a ridiculous outfit. I don't even have clothes like that. I bought these, and something led me here. It…feels familiar. It smells like home. Not really, but somehow… I don't know. I'm not myself. There's someone in me. (looks at ST for understanding) Does that sound crazy?

ST: uh… I've seen and heard much crazier things.

BA leans into ST and he puts his arm around her shoulders.

BA: I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone. (a bit of silence as BA's eyes wander around the exhibit) All the gazelles in here are making me hungry. Will you accompany me to lunch?

ST: I'm supposed to meet someone (checks watch) an hour ago.

BA: There's a cafe here. It'll be fine.

ST: You wouldn't believe how hungry I am, like I'm going to pass out if I don't eat soon.

BA: I've been passing out all day. Hours without consciousness. (recalling something from the morning. Very seriously) I think I killed my daughter. (starts to cry bitterly)

ST embraces BA and holds her as long as she needs. Until DP taps him on the shoulder.

DP: Steve? Ready to go? (assumes ST is having some trouble)

ST: Diana, this is the cat-lady. (doing the introductions)

DP: Nice to meet you. (not inclined to give BA the time of day. To ST) I found a great place for lunch.

ST: There's a cafeteria here.

DP: (ushering ST away) I'm sure there is.

CH gives DP a nasty look which neither DP nor ST sees.

ST: Cat-lady and I,

BA: Barbara. Barbara Ann. Minerva.

ST: She and I are having lunch here. Would you like to join us?

DP: (stung) Steve. I wanted to talk to you. We have a lot to talk about (and then to BA) alone.

BA: (reading the situation) I'm sorry. Thanks, Steve. I'll manage.

ST: We're all going to eat here. (to DP in a whisper) She needs help.

DP: More than you?

ST: About equal.

DP: I find that hard to believe.

ST: Trust me.

DP: I can't imagine. (ST looks at DP, and she decides to yield) OK Steve. I'll trust you.

DP takes BA's arm as the three walk along to the museum's cafe.

DP: (to BA, with sympathy, trying to be helpful) Are we having some trouble today?

BA: I'd rather not talk about it, right now.

DP: Thanks for joining us.

BA: Thanks for letting me come along. You're very kind.

DP: You're very welcome.

BA: I'll try not to say anything.

DP is puzzled.

BA: It's better that way.

DP: Not at all. (disagreeing)

ST: Trust her; it's better that way. For now, at least. Maybe later.

*cut to the cafe, a dimly lit bar/grill. A waitress is taking their order.

DP: I'll have the foofoo sushi.

ST: I'll take the whole menu. Just kidding. I am so hungry. The prime rib.

BA: I'd just like a small salad.

CH: (taking over BA for a second) And a steak.

WAITRESS: How would you like that.

BA: With oil and vinegar, please.

WAITRESS: The steak?

CH: Raw.

WAITRESS: We can't serve it raw, I'm afraid, but I'll have the chef just put it on for a second. It's usually fine.

CH: (scowls a bit)

WAITRESS: It'll be quite raw, believe me. I'm sure you'll like it. (exit Waitress)

BA: I know I'm intruding.

DP: Please.

BA: Sorry I ruined your lunch date. You two are such a sweet couple. Have you known each other long?

ST: Uh, yeah. Yeah, we go,

DP: - way back.

ST: We go way back.

BA: Five, ten years?

DP: Seems like more.

ST: Fifty, sixty…

BA: Ha! You're not over forty.

ST: It depends on how you count it.

BA: And you, Miss, can't be 30.

DP: I've been 29 for quite some time.

BA: Tell me how you met.

ST: You wouldn't want to know. It's a long story.

BA: Oh please.

DP: He was in the air force,

ST: And she was in an army,

BA: A military romance!

ST: Sure, that's,

DP: You could say that.

BA: (to DP) I love your accent. Where are you from?

DP: I'm,

ST: She's

DP: It's a small island, you've probably never heard of,

ST: and very hard to find.

DP: In the Aegean.

BA: Near Greece?

ST: A stone's throw.

DP: You could hit Greece with an arrow.

(They laugh.)

ST: Not really.

DP: Really.

ST: (to BA) Why don't you tell us about yourself?

BA: It's just me and my daughter and our dogs. (she blocks out everything to keep her composure for the present) I'm an archeologist by trade. An unemployed archeologist for now.

(The waitress returns with their food.)

DP: That was quick.

WAITRESS: It's raw, Ma'am; there's not a lot of cooking. (serves DP her sushi)

BA: I could never eat raw food. 'Gives me the cooties.

WAITRESS: Your salad, Ma'am. (serving BA)

DP: (to BA) You ordered your steak raw.

BA: Ha! That would be funny!

WAITRESS: And your steak. (serving BA)

BA looks at the raw steak gravely; she knows what must have happened.

WAITRESS: It was only on the grill for a second. Like, literally a second. Will that be ok, Ma'am?

BA: (gravely) Please take it away. And don't bring me another.

WAITRESS: (taking the plate away) I'm sorry, Ma'am. That's usually fine for our raw customers.

CH: Leave it.

WAITRESS: (a little freaked out by the sudden change in voice and demeanor) Of course. (sets plate back down. Then, to ST) Sir, yours is still cooking; it'll be out in a minute. (and she hastily withdraws)

CH: (looks at DP, looks at ST, somewhat uncomfortable) Heh. (begins licking the raw steak. Licking, licking, licking)

DP looks over at ST with a very serious expression.

DP: (to CH, in measured tones) And, why don't you tell us about yourself.

CH sinks her teeth into the meat, tosses her head up, and chomps it all down in one piece.

DP: Can you tell us your name?

CH: Cheetah.

DP: And where are you from, Cheetah?

Cheetah begins cleaning her face with her wrists, and licking them.

CH: Urzkartaga.

DP: And what are you doing here?

CH: (burps) Whatever I want.

DP: Maybe you would like to go back to Urzka-

CH: Maybe you'd like to leave my territory.

DP: Your territory? The museum? The mall? The city? What's your territory?

CH: If I see you, you're in it.

Waitress comes back with ST's food. She serves it and withdraws.

ST: At last!

DP: We're leaving. (stands up)

ST: Five minutes. (knife and fork in hand)

DP: We're going, *now*.

ST: You can't believe how hungry I am.

DP pulls ST away from the table.

ST: I haven't eaten in 50 years!

CH slams down her paw on the table, pinning ST's cuff to the table. And yes, it is a massive cheetah paw this time, with huge claws pinning the leather jacket.

CH: He stays.

DP continues to pull ST away from the table, not realizing ST's hand is literally pinned to the table.

DP: He comes with me.

CH: He stays with me.

DP: (yanking on ST's arm) He's mine!

CH: (snarling) He's mine!

DP: (puts her face right in front of CH's face) Now listen here, kitty: I've waited fifty years to talk to this man, and I'm going to talk to him. *Alone*.

CH: I've waited centuries to walk the earth again, and I'm not going to let you spoil it.

Waitress reappears, making the rounds.

WAITRESS: How is everything? Ok?

ST: It smells heavenly. I can't wait to eat it.

DP lets go of ST. The waitress moves on. CH keeps her paw on ST's wrist.

ST: (to DP) I know this sounds a little funny, but how about you go ahead, while I finish up here with, uh, Barbara,

CH: Cheetah!

ST: with Cheetah, and…

DP frowns at ST.

ST: and, maybe you can change your clothes or something, and,

DP: Humph. Change of clothes indeed. (and she walks away determinedly)

ST: (sits back down, looks at CH, looks at his plate) Finally!

CH looks affectionately at ST, starts purring loudly.

ST eats his food with gusto, while CH become increasingly affectionate. She comes over to his side of the table and begins rubbing her face onto his arm.

ST: Woah there tiger.

CH takes her paws and starts kneading ST's chest.

ST: Hey, let me finish. (and he puts the last fork full in his mouth) So good!

CH licks ST's plate. Then she looks at him affectionately. Then she starts licking his face.

Then Wonder Woman busts in from the glass ceiling, and lassos CH and pulls her to her, face to face.

WW: Bad kitty! (and WW throws CH across the cafe, smashing all kinds of stuff. CH gets up, taking on her full feline form)

WW vs CH brawl ensues. CH has the upper hand at first, in her feline form. Then WW starts using her lasso like a lion tamer's whip, which keeps CH on the run. CH grabs the end of the lasso, and there is some tug of war, with the two combatants coming closer as WW reels CH in. In the end WW is face to face with CH.

WW: Get out of my territory. (and she throws CH out the broken glass ceiling and halfway across the city)

WW: (dusting herself off. Tosses hair, and says to ST, straight into the camera) How was lunch? (and she smiles)

 _(Continues in Chapter 2)_


	2. The Bird

*cut to the Russian subplot. The shadowy Boss is on the phone. We only hear his half of the conversation.

Boss: How's it going?... An incident?... At the Museum of Natural History. You're sure it was her?... Right, that's distinctive dress. So, what happened?... Fought a cat? Are you serious?... A *big* cat? How big *was* it?... Yes, yes, I know there are plenty of big cats in the museum, but they're all stuffed…. Look, no more nonsense, no more excuses. I want her and her cat and her goldfish all dead, do you understand me. And most of all, the President. Time is running out. Now use your tracking skills and track her down. (Boss hangs up)

*Scene: Diana's apartment. Begin with a closeup of the head of Diana's cat being scratched. Pull back to reveal Diana sitting on the couch, scratching her cat's head. The doorbell rings. DP gets up and answers the door.

Helen Alexandros (HA): Hi, I'm Helen Alexandros. I saw your flyer about the room?

DP: Oh, yes, I almost forgot.

HA: (barging into the room) It was this morning; how could you forget? (HA is young and unfiltered)

DP: Busy day, I guess.

HA: I'm a transfer student, in the dance program. (as she looks around the apartment) I was dancing in Greece this Summer, at one of the old amphitheaters or temples or something, and they boo'ed me. Can you believe that? The shouted I was ugly.

DP: (uncomfortable with HA's forwardness, but compassionate as always) You're beautiful.

HA: They were chanting for me to leave the stage. So I, like, asked the gods to smite them all, or something, and I don't really remember the rest, but it was pretty freaky. Hey look! I can see the dance studio right there across the park; that's where most of my classes are. This will be perfect. I wish I were beautiful like you. Will you be my friend? I'd love to be your roommate. You and me, two girls against the world!

DP: Um,

ST enters the room.

HA: (with distaste) Who's he? (to ST) Do you live here?

ST: Um,

HA: So are you married?

DP: No, he's,

ST: I'm,

HA: Are you in love?

ST: uh,

DP: We're, uh,

HA: Oh that's so cute - you're both in love but afraid to say it.

DP: Now listen -

HA: (picking up the cat. To the cat) Aren't they so cute! And what's your name, little fella?

DP: Don't, uh

HA: (reading the cat's tag) Steve. I love you Steve!

ST: (to DP) You named the cat "Steve"?

DP: It's not what…

HA: Give me kisses, Steve!

DP: He's just a stray I found…

HA: (to DP) Does he sleep in your bed?

(DP is blushing from head to toe)

ST: (to HA) Listen, uh, young woman.

HA: Helen Alexandros.

ST: Sounds Greek.

HA: Don't talk to me about Greece! (tearing up)

ST: Diana here is reconsidering her whole roommate situation. Right, Diana?

DP is skeptical of ST's interference.

HA: (to DP) What do you mean? You don't want me?

ST: You can't stay here.

HA: (bursts into tears)

DP: (to HA) You can stay here.

ST: Diana, can I have a word with you?

HA: I knew it was too good to be true!

DP: (to ST) Yes?

ST: Alone. On the balcony.

DP gets up, miffed, and marches out to the balcony. ST follows. DP does not want to talk, so ST steps in front of her so she cannot avoid him.

ST: Diana, I'm lost. You're all I have in the world. I need your help. (pulling DP close)

DP: *She* needs help. Your cat girl needs help. A lot of people need help.

ST: I need you more.

DP: Look, I'll help you. You know that.

ST: I know.

DP: And I'm helping her too.

ST: Diana,

DP turns and goes back in the room, uncompromising.

ST enters the room.

DP is sitting on the couch with a sobbing HA, consoling her. The cat is with them.

DP: So, Steve, would you mind leaving us alone for a while, while I and my roommate get acquainted?

HA: Is he coming back?

DP: We'll talk about that later.

ST: (in a half voice, intended for DP only) I have… no place to go-oo. (singsong)

DP: You'll maanaage. (half voice, singsong)

ST: I'm not familiar with the ciiityyy, or the transportaaation, or this wooorld.

DP: Be my hero, Steve. (wishing him the best, and not giving in)

ST: I wish I were.

HA: (to ST) Are you going to go? (impatient) Just sit on a park bench till we call you.

ST: In that case, (to DP) I'll leave you to your stray cats…

DP: (slightly glaring at him)

HA: Very funny. I got that.

*cut to ST on a bench in a park across from DP's apartment. The long Summer day is drawing to a close and the sun finally sinking toward the horizon. ST admires the clouds until someone comes sniffing behind him.

BA: Do you mind if I sit with you?

ST: Barbara...how did you find me?

BA: I don't know. Actually I smelled you, from across the city. I don't know how I got there. I blacked out during lunch. It was such a pleasure meeting your girlfriend. I hope I didn't leave a bad impression.

ST: I think you left a lot of impressions on her.

BA: She's special.

ST: More than you know.

BA: Don't let her get away. You should marry her. If you don't mind my saying so.

ST: Uh, thanks.

BA: I might have to kill myself.

ST: No!

BA: It's not me anymore. I have to kill the thing inside me.

ST: Go home, get some rest. The sun will rise tomorrow. Who knows what it will bring.

BA: I can't go home. I can't bear to see what's there. My daughter… (she cries yet again, and ST does his best to comfort her)

*cut to DP showing HA the balcony.

DP: This is our balcony.

HA: What a beautiful view of the park. Say, is that your boyfriend down there. With a woman?

DP: Where?

HA: There, he's holding her, see?

DP: (to herself) That cat's got her claws in him again!

HA: You've got to dump him, sister. Seriously. Wake up and smell the coffee.

DP frowns. DP is not the most experienced person in the ways of the heart, but HA's advice does not sound right to her.

DP: You don't know him.

HA: Oh come on - I know a thousand guys like him. They're all the same. Tomcats. You're just being played.

DP: No, not him.

HA: You've got it bad. I have to save you. Hey look, they're coming back to the apartment. This should be interesting.

DP: More than you know! Helen, you can't stay here. It's not safe.

HA: What? I'll be fine.

DP: No really. I should never have asked for a roommate. What was I thinking?

HA: No. No! (HA starts backing away in horror, on the balcony)

DP: You're a beautiful young girl, and you can do anything you want,

HA: No, you're not saying this! (horrified)

DP: I believe in you, and you have to believe in yourself.

HA: I hate you!

DP: You have to find another place, you will be a great dancer, and everyone will love you.

HA: You failed me, like all the others! (HA has backed up as far as she can go, and presses against the balcony railing)

DP: Helen -

HA: (spitting it out) Mars said he would make me beautiful if I did his bidding. But that never happened - did it!

DP: What?

HA: At the temple! But I'm still ugly, and nobody wants me! Not even you.

DP: I love you.

HA: (summing up, calm and philosophical) I'd do anything to be pretty, like you. (and HA hops over the railing of the balcony, plunging to the street)

*cut to ST and BA approaching the entrance to the apartment. ST looks up and sees a body falling. Then suddenly, just before the inevitable, the body transforms into a silver swan-woman, beautiful and shimmering, her magnificent wings unfurl, and she takes flight, swooping into the sky before hitting the ground. ST and BA duck as the Silver Swan sweeps past them.

*cut to DP, in shock on the balcony, as she watches Silver Swan fly off into the sunset. Then the apartment buzzer buzzes. DP comes inside her apartment and answers it.

DP: Hello?

ST: Hey Diana, this is Steve. We have to get Barbara help, tonight. She has to see someone. A doctor, a psychologist, immediately.

DP: Sure. Um, did she bring her cat?

ST: Everywhere she goes, but it's safe now. For now.

DP: I'll be right down.

ST: Uh, did you see someone fall out the building?

DP: Yeah. That was my roommate.

ST: (silence) Is everything ok?

DP: Sure. Listen, she's not staying here anymore. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.

ST: It looked like she turned into a bird or something.

DP: Right. Let's not worry about that right now. We're never going to see her again.

ST: Right. See you soon.

DP hangs up, and in through the open balcony door swoops Silver Swan, radiant.

SS presents herself, gracefully extending her arms. Her every movement is like ballet.

SS: I'm beautiful…

DP: You were always beautiful.

SS comes and embraces DP.

SS: I flew, and it was like dancing through the air. Everyone who saw me loved me.

DP smiles, so happy for SS.

SS: I love you, Miss Diana. Best friend forever.

DP: Be happy. Be free. Go, live and be beautiful.

SS: I will. (SS is taking her leave, heading back toward the balcony)

DP: ...be careful of Mars.

SS: Mars is the best. He did all this for me. He answered my prayer. He only wants me to do one thing for him.

DP: Yes?

SS: Destroy his worst enemy.

DP: And that would be?

SS: I've never heard of her, but she must be some wicked witch.

DP: The Wicked Witch?

SS: He called her "Wonder Woman."

DP: ...I see.

SS: Ironic, isn't it, that someone wicked would be called wonderful. But then, it *is* 1984, isn't it.

DP: Fare thee well, Helen.

SS: Don't worry. I'll be fine. See these wings, they are sharp as knives. (she sweeps one across the couch, slicing it into a hundred pieces) Oops, I'm so sorry! I don't know my own strength.

DP: It's, it's… it'll be fine…

SS: You wouldn't know where I could find this Wonder Woman, would you?

DP: I'm sorry, I must be going. To a psychiatrist.

SS: Oh I'm so sorry you're stressed! (she advances to embrace DP again)

DP: It's ok, (fearful of getting sliced accidentally in an embrace) - the wings, the wings!

SS: Don't worry. I would never hurt you. (SS spares DP an embrace) See you soon!

SS goes to exit onto the balcony and one of her wings accidentally turns the sliding door into confetti.

SS: So sorry! I'll learn to control them! I promise! (and she flies away with a powerful sweep of her wings. And then the iron railing of the balcony falls off, in a hundred pieces, clanging down below.)

DP: Slumps down onto the floor. She looks at the havoc all around her.

The apartment buzzer buzzes again.

DP: Yeah?

ST: Are you coming down? Everything all right up there?

DP: No comment. I'm coming.


	3. The Doctor

*Scene: DP, ST, and BA in a taxi. ST sits directly behind the driver; DP in the middle. DP just wants to dump BA off somewhere.

DP: (to taxi driver) Take us to a psychiatrist. The nearest one.

TAXI: Is this some kind of group therapy? (trying to understand the request)

DP: Someone who deals with animal issues, like, cat phenomena.

TAXI: You want a psychiatrist, or a vet?

CH: (snarls)

ST: Someone for amnesia, unexplained loss of time...

DP: (quietly to ST) Is that for you or her?

BA: Try multiple personalities.

TAXI: Ok, it sounds like we need a lot of help here. At this hour nobody's going to be open except Dr. Psycho anyway.

DP: Psycho?

TAXI: Yeah, he does mostly evening sessions. Everything you were talking about. Animals, people, séances…

DP: (To BA) We'll drop you off.

ST gives DP a look.

*cut to Dr. Psycho's waiting room. BA, DP, and ST are all seated. It's kind of a victorian parlor room inside a vintage mansion.

ST: (Looking around) Is this a real doctor's office?

DP: Is this a real doctor?

Dr. Psycho's nurse/receptionist/assistant enters.

ASSISTANT: Barbara Ann Minerva? Steve Trevor? Diana Prince? Doctor Psycho is ready to see you.

DP: He's only seeing Barbara.

ASSISTANT: Dr. Psycho always interviews the family members and friends as well, separately. It helps him get a better picture.

(DP is not thrilled.)

ASSISTANT: Come, follow me. (She leads the trio down the hall, leaving each one in a separate room, first BA, then DP, then ST)

*cut to a closeup of DP's fingers tapping. DP stands to look at the pictures on the wall of her little exam room. The door opens, and a short man enters with bulging eyes.

PSY: Diana? I'm Dr. Psycho.

DP: Nice to meet you.

PSY: (looking way up at the height difference) Play basketball?

DP: Other, sports… (she sits down; DR PSY remains standing in front of her, eye to eye.)

PSY: So how long have you known Barbara?

DP: Since this morning.

PSY: And what are your observations?

DP: Multiple personality. Feline impersonation. Possible possession? Curse? Enchantment?

PSY: I see you have some scratches on your hands.

DP: Did I mention "feline impersonation"?

PSY: I'm sorry to hear that. May I? (PSY takes DP's hands in his and moves them around, examining)

DP: Can you help her?

PSY: I can help, but her friends and family can help more. She will need you, to get well.

DP: What can we do?

PSY: It is more of the spirit, than a medical issue. I am going to enter your mind now.

DP: Uh,

Dr. Psycho places his forehead against DP's forehead, and takes her head in his fingers.

DP: Uh,

PSY: Now I want you to open your mind to me. Open...your...mind… (pause) You're not opening your mind.

DP: I'm trying.

PSY: No your not. You're resisting.

DP: (Pulling away) I'm not comfortable with this.

PSY: Do you love Barbara?

DP: I - hardly know her.

PSY: (summarizing) Love and openness. They go together. You can't have one without the other. (buttoning his jacket as he prepares to exit) Barbara will be fine with enough treatment, because she wants to get well.

DP: That's wonderful!

PSY: But you - you will never love until you let yourself be open.

DP: I beg your pardon.

PSY: Let me give you my personal advice. Not as a doctor, but as a father - I must be twice your age.

DP: I highly doubt that.

PSY: Are you lonely? Aloof? Longing for companionship? You will always be alone until you let yourself be open. *There* you will find the love you are looking for.

DP is speechless, as the crackpot has actually given her very good advice.

*Scene: DP's apartment; the sun has set and the apartment is dark. KGB guys are walking around inside her apartment, looking at the damage with flashlights.

KGB-1: Bird sighting. Anomalous destruction. This has that woman written all over it.

Then a sound; someone is at the door. KGB guys draw pistols and flank the door.

*cut to DP and ST in the hallway outside the door. DP has her key in the door.

DP: (turns to ST) Oh, I forgot - the apartment's a disaster. (thinks for a second, and has a good idea) Hey, come with me.

(As they walk away down the hall,)

DP: We have a pool on the roof.

*Scene: The rooftop pool at night, the water lit blue and the poolside lit amber. A romantic setting (think HSM2 nighttime pool scene).

DP and ST are relaxing on lounge chairs after the hectic day.

ST: I wonder how long they will keep Barbara there for observation?

DP: A couple days, he said. It's for the best.

ST: She's afraid to go home anyway. Who knows what the cat left behind. I'd like to go over and check it out for her.

DP: I'll check it out.

ST: When?

DP: Later tonight. When I make my rounds.

ST: Do you ever sleep?

DP: (looks out over the city) When the children are good, I get some rest.

ST: (eyeing the pool) Mind if I go in?

DP: Be my guest.

(While ST and DP are readying for a dip,)

ST: How bad is the apartment?

DP: Oh, it's pretty bad. The couch. The glass door. The balcony railing.

ST: What are you going to *say*?

DP: It was the cat?

ST: The cat did the sofa,

DP: And my friend the opera singer did the glass door.

(ST does not get it.)

DP: With a high note.

(ST is unconvinced.)

DP: It was a very high note. And the balcony has been busted for ages, so it finally fell off.

ST: She sang the note which scared the cat and then the railing fell. I like it.

(DP and ST are in the water)

DP: Steve, I want to try something. (ST is curious) Bear with me.

ST: Yeah?

DP: (swimming over to ST) Ask me anything.

ST: What?

DP: Ask me the deepest darkest hardest thing.

ST: What's this about?

DP: Humor me, Steve. (she puts her forehead gently against his) Take my head in your hands. Look into my eyes and ask me anything. I'll try to be open.

ST: (Obliges the unusual request) The hardest question… (thinks) What is your greatest weakness. Where's your Achilles' heel?

DP: (laughs) I don't have one. (then) Let me think. (heads still together in a moment of silence) When I was young, my aunt told me that if a man bound my bracelets together, I would lose all my powers - all my strength. (pulling head away) Silly isn't it. There were no men around, so I couldn't try it.

ST: We'll try it sometime.

DP: That's the best I could do. (regarding her honest answer. And then) Helen says I shouldn't trust you.

ST: Bird Helen?

DP: Just because she turned into a bird doesn't mean she isn't a good advisor. (hurt) She has a lot of experience in these things.

ST: These things?

DP: You know. Men.

ST: And you? What do you think?

DP: I don't know. I… (suddenly she thinks she has a great idea) I know! (and she bolts out of the water) Stay there! (she scampers to a locker) My rooftop stash. (and she walks back to the pool with lasso in hand)

ST: I always wondered where you keep your stuff.

DP: I have lots of places. It's not easy! (laughs)

ST: That's not for me, is it?

DP: I have to ask you something.

ST: Not with that.

DP: Why not?

ST: A relationship has to stand on trust and honesty. And *that* (the lasso) says "I don't trust you."

DP: (stopped in her tracks) You're right. (then) Some people are good at judging relationships. Me…this is all I know…

ST: Your "sheltered" upbringing has left you at a disadvantage. Ok - bring it here. I give you one question, then I never want to see that thing again. Er, around *me*.

DP: Ok. I only need one.

DP reenters the water, slowly spirals the lasso in a circle round and round above ST's head, like she was casting a spell or stirring a witch's pot, and it gently encircles him in the water from foot to waist.

DP: And now, to make it fair… (she turns in place so the remainder of the lasso circles her waist, until it draws them together, entwining them in a glowing "S")

DP: Steve Trevor, (resting her forehead against his, her arms loosely about his neck) do you love me?

ST: I do.

DP: (whispered) That's all I need to know.

And they kiss. And the camera gives them their privacy with a distant shot of the rooftop pool and the city in the distance, the Washington Monument looming on the horizon.


	4. The Dance

*Scene: A bright Summer morning. As the camera pans across the sky, we see the cloudless blue sky, the sun, and then a towering Wonder Woman, shot from a very low angle. She is standing towering next to ST who is just now waking up poolside, on a lounge chair, laid back flat. (the camera angle was from his perspective)

ST: Good morning. I see you're on the clock. Did I miss anything?

(WW is all business this morning.)

WW: They raided my apartment last night.

ST: Who?

WW: I'm pretty sure I know who. They've been chasing me for years, but this has gone too far. They may have compromised my identity.

ST: What's that mean?

WW: It means I'm going to be busy today. (twists her bracelets into place)

ST: Are you going to be ok?

WW: I'll see you when I get back.

WW walks away to the edge of the roof. (WW has discovered something during the night which pierced her to her core; suffice it to say, she is not quite herself this morning.) She turns back to look at ST, and her face is surprisingly running with tears, her expression is hurt/angry/tearful/disappointed/frustrated, and she steps off the edge of the building, and plummets to the sidewalk below. She lets herself go limp, and falls through the air like a ragdoll. Then she twists herself at the last moment and makes a perfect landing. She stays crouched in her landing position for a moment, and then straightens up.

WW: (to her imaginary audience) See - no wings.

She brushes away her tears with her wrists, and walks calmly down the sidewalk. She walks, not as a superhero, but just as a regular member of the city, drawing some looks for her costume, but not too many. Some thought she was eccentric, some thought she was dressed for a performance, and some thought she was just uber-hip. The truth is, she was just being herself, and somehow, she now fit in with the city, and was one with it, and with everyone around her.

She passed by the punks and they said,

PUNK: Digging the look, girl.

GOTHGIRL: Where can I get those boots?

WW: (just laughs) Try Commander Salamander. (as she passes the store)

She walks by the corner boombox crowd, and jives with them as she passes through.

She walks in the zone, and knows where she's going. With a little too much diva, she crosses the final street in the middle of traffic, drawing some honks and some screeching brakes.

DRIVER: Hey look where you're going!

But she only looks ahead. She stands on the sidewalk looking up at a window.

People walk by, but she doesn't bat an eye.

*cut to inside the building; it is the shadowy lair of the conspiring Russians. The Boss talks to his two goons.

BOSS: I want results, and what do I get? Reports of birds, cats, a mysterious woman - I've had enough of your ridiculous excuses. Gentlemen, you leave me no choice. Your time has run out; now face the wall.

KGB-1: Why?

BOSS: So I can teach you a lesson.

The goons line up facing the windowed wall.

BOSS: (draws his firearm) Now this is how you kill someone.

KGB-1: Hey, there she is!

KGB-2: Oh my goodness!

BOSS: Who?

KGB-1: The woman.

BOSS: *The* woman?

KGB-1: Yeah.

BOSS: What's she doing?

KGB-1: She's waving at us.

And the Boss walks up to the window to look down to the sidewalk (he's on the second floor) and there looking up from the sidewalk is Wonder Woman, waving with a slight smile.

*cut to WW on the sidewalk. A police officer comes up to her.

POLICE: Everything alright, Ma'am? (but she pays him no heed) Ma'am? (but no response. The officer suspects WW is tripping out) Ma'am, you'll have to come with me. (and he takes out handcuffs.)

*cut to the Boss

BOSS: What are you waiting for? Gun her down!

*cut to WW; she blocks a bullet.

POLICE: What was that! (ducking for cover)

(WW blocks another.)

POLICE: (on his walkie-talkie) We have a shooter at 5th and Broad. Repeat, an active shooter.

(WW blocks another.)

POLICE: Make that two shooters.

A police car veers up onto the sidewalk, and the policeman takes cover behind it.

POLICE: Clear the area. Set up a perimeter. Secure the exits. This is going to take hours!

WW rolls her eyes and leaps up to the second floor, crashing through the window. One goon comes flying out, then another, whom the police apprehend.

*cut to WW inside the building. The Boss is backing up, shooting with each step, to no avail.

BOSS: So it's true! The woman! The ghost woman! (and he slips out the door, closing it, and tries to make his escape down the stairwell. WW bursts through the door and follows him down, while he shoots a bullet back up at her from time to time. He arrives at the basement garage and drives madly away with WW in pursuit on foot. She chases him through the city streets, sometimes hopping onto the roof of his car, sometimes getting thrown off as he drives wildly. Finally he swerves through the gate of the Russian embassy and slowly gets out of his car, on embassy grounds. Several police cars in pursuit screech up on the sidewalk outside the embassy.

POLICE: He made it. (frustrated)

WW, who stands on the sidewalk, looks at the officer.

POLICE: We can't go in there; it's the Russian Embassy - Russian soil, diplomatic immunity.

WW walks right up to the property line. The Boss, over-confident, walks a little toward her and wiggles, taunting.

WW casts her lasso to its maximum extent, and just catches the Boss's hand, and yanks him flying onto the sidewalk. The police jump on him as he tries to get back, like a runner tackled before the goal line.

WW walks casually away from the scene, as cool as she arrived.

*cut to WW walking by the Dance Studio. Someone calls out from behind.

HA: Miss Diana!

WW: (turns around) Helen?

HA: (Comes running at WW. WW is apprehensive, but HA wraps her in a joyful embrace) Miss Diana!

WW: How are you doing Helen? Why aren't you a swan?

HA: Mars said I can only be a swan for one hour each day, until I (she gets a bit serious, but then casts aside the mood) Come see where I take my classes! (and HA takes WW by the hand and pulls her up the stone steps and into the venerable dance studio.)

The grand hall of the dance studio is empty at present; shafts of light stream down from high windows, each one like a ballerina holding her position, gracefully illuminating the narrow planks of the wooden floor. A century of talc hangs suspended in the air, remembering each dancer who leapt across these floors. Helen is dancing; she cannot hold it in.

HA: Do you dance, Miss Diana?

WW: I used to dance, very much.

HA: Come dance with me! (and she catches WW by the hand and pulls her into the dance)

WW: I don't -

HA: Just feel the music!

WW: What music?

HA: The music within us!

And the two of them dance, like two butterflies in flight, circling, spiraling, walking on air. WW lifts HA and throws her in the sky, where she spreads out her arms with the grace of a swan. And then WW catches her, gently replanting her, back on the floor, like a flower reborn.

They dance. It is surreal, and magical, and beautiful beyond description.

As it ends they are face to face, we see WW's back, and HA lifts up her arms like the unfurling of wings, and WW bends backwards, like one mortally struck. HA embraces her dying friend's torso, and so the dance ends, like a grave pietà.

HA: (clinging to WW as their dance ends) I love you Diana. Thank you for dancing with me. This is how I will always remember you. My very best friend.

WW: I love you too Helen. You know, I am Wonder Woman.

HA: Yes, Mars told me. Come, let us leave this place, that its memory may remain unsullied. (and HA takes WW by the hand once more, running back out to the street.)

HA: Mars told me I can be a swan for just one hour each day, until I destroy you, and then I will be the Silver Swan forever.

WW: Helen -

HA: Cruel fate, that the one I love most in this world is the one I must destroy.

WW: No, Helen, you -

HA: I love you, Diana.

WW: For love's sake!

HA: For beauty's sake - welcome to my Magic Hour! (and she lifts up her arms like the unfurling of wings, and she transforms, before her eyes, into the mighty and deadly, magnificent Silver Swan)

And they fight. Their fight is like a dance; Silver Swan's every move is ballet, and she begins with a curtsy, a reverence in dance.

While SS bows, WW is getting ready, shield up, lasso in hand, moving it slowly like a dangling string.

Suddenly CH pounces from behind WW, stealing the lasso in her jaws and tumbling with it, laying on her back, scratching it with her hind claws, and then bounding off into the park with her new toy.

WW: Hey, I need that!

But it is too late; SS has finished her reverence, and the fight is on. She descends upon WW with a flurry of wings.

WW backs up, defending herself with her shield, until she backs into stone - the massive shoulder of the dance hall's stone steps.

SS's wings send stone flying as she continues to batter WW and everything around WW. SS pauses to let the rubble subside so she can see what remains of WW, who lowers her shield to reveal a large cut on her face.

SS: Aw, not so pretty anymore. That's going to leave a scar.

WW: No, it's not. (and she fights back, wallopping SS with the back of her shield, sending her flying).

The fight eerily mirrors their dance, with SS doing her balletic martial arts, and the two striking many of the same poses and holds as before. WW is at a disadvantage without her lasso, and the fact that she does not want to destroy SS. SS has the upperhand in the early fighting. WW decides to run out the clock on SS's magic hour.

SS: I will destroy you!

WW: Can you do it in an hour?

SS: I can do it in a wingbeat. (swiping)

WW: You'll have to catch me, first. (and WW runs off, this way and that. SS has trouble swooping down on her zig-zagging prey. WW goes to leap up onto a bridge over the road, and SS plucks her out of the air, catching WW by the foot, and battering her with her wings and she flys along with WW dangling. Then SS drops WW, presumably to plummet. But WW hangs suspended in the air by her own power.)

WW: See - no wings.

(SS rushes headlong into WW, grabbing her, and the two grapple in the air together as they plummet to the ground with a crash. WW ends up on top of SS, pinning her on her back with wings immobilized.)

WW: You were more beautiful before. Before your murderous heart.

SS: Do you know what it's like to be ugly? (then) I think you're about to find out.

(And CH comes charging up from behind once again, having tired of the lasso and left it for lost in the park somewhere, and lands on WW's head from behind, knocking her over and off of SS. CH mauls WW's head.)

(WW throws CH off, some distance, and the three rise to their feet for a moment's standoff. WW throws back her hair, revealing a very bloodied face. Even SS is horrified at the sight.)

WW: My beauty comes from the heart. (and a force of energy wells up within her, and she unleashes it, as if she is revealing the contents of her heart, and the blast bursts out in all directions, blowing SS and CH off their feet)

(SS takes to the air, while CH slinks around cars and debris, stalking. WW loses sight of both of them, as she wanders, sometimes stumbling, stepping backwards in the street. Then CH pounces out from a hiding place, and WW jumps up into the sky, out of CH's reach. Then SS swoops by WW from above, raking her with a wing. Caught between CH on the ground and SS in the sky, WW has a hard time finding a safe place where she is not being clawed or raked.)

(SS and CH make a good team, but they are not friends. Their momentary alliance is purely of convenience. WW ends up on the street again, walking backwards, keeping an eye on CH who circles her on the ground, and SS who is circling above; they seem to be effectively taking WW apart.)

(As WW steps backwards she bumps into something; it is ST, who has come through the park.)

ST: Did you lose this? (handing her the lasso)

WW: Thanks! (and she cracks the whip. School is in session.)

(WW stings CH with the lasso/whip time and time again, making the cat retreat and lick her wounds. SS comes by to rake WW with her wing, but WW lassos a passing foot, and is swept up into the sky with SS.)

(WW pulls herself hand over hand up the lasso/rope, until she grabs SS's leg, and the two grapple once again in the sky, and plummet to the ground. As they land, WW wraps the lasso around SS, tying up her and her wings so she is immobilized, like a mummy, wrap in her own wings.)

WW: Your hour of playtime is almost over, and I'm putting you in "time out." (as WW ties the lasso in a knot to keep it secure. SS struggles ineffectively, and stands, bound, on her feet, slightly hobbling to keep her balance)

(WW looks around, and CH is approaching her from a distance, slowly approaching, getting ready to pounce.)

(SS starts biting at one of her wings, near her shoulder, until she rips out a feather, and holds it in her teeth, unseen by WW.)

(WW is focussed on CH, and readies herself for the onslaught. WW stands with her feet apart, bent and ready for what will come next.)

(SS, standing by WW, hobbles a bit and falls over with the feather in her teeth, her face hits WW's thigh, and the feather slices WW's leg to the bone.)

(WW falls down in agony, writhing in pain, holding her leg. SS rolls on the ground, still bound, and out of tricks. CH approaches slowly, wondering which prey looks more tasty.)

(CH approaches WW first, circling, sniffing, stepping around her and on her. WW, not up for fighting at the moment, decides to play dead. She lets her head lay on the ground, and closes her eyes, and tries not to breathe much. She peeks out one wary eye to see how it is working.)

(CH licks WW's slashed thigh, lapping up some blood, and then looks at SS. SS has decided to make a run for it, but being bound, she can only hop clumsily on her knees, and with one wing slightly sticking out of the lasso, she looks like an injured bird, hopping on the ground. CH is interested.)

(CH makes her way over to SS, who is hopping along. ST comes up to WW without a word, and helps her to her feet. She leans on him, and he helps walk her away, as far as they can get, and get lost in the crowd. All around them is mayhem: the smoke of destruction, a team of first responders helping those hurt by collateral damage. People coming and going, to see or to flee. A mass of confusion. They get fairly far.)

(CH easily overtakes SS and gives her the stare. SS screams)

SS: (Aaaaaaaaaaaaaack!) Help! Help me! Help me!

(CH pounces on SS, gets up on her hind legs and ferociously bats SS between her front paws while biting her head)

SS: (Screeeeeam!)

(We hear a voice calling from a distance, across the mayhem, "Heeeeere kitty." It is WW.)

WW: Heeere kitty kitty… (WW leans on ST. She dangles her shield, holding it by the top edge and swinging it back and forth like the disk of a grandfather clock.) Here kitty kitty, look at this!

(CH looks around, and can't resist the shiny bait. She starts bounding toward WW. SS rolls over, unbound; the lasso has been torn off of her.)

WW: Barbara! (WW calls out) Barbara - your daughter, (as CH rushes closer) Your daughter - she is alive!

(CH leaps through the air and lands upon WW; they roll in a somersault, and come to rest with WW on her back, and CH on top of her, on all fours, but it is not CH any longer, it is Barbara Ann.)

BA: She's alive?

WW: I went to your house; I saw her at the hospital. She's alive, and she calls for you.

BA: My baby...my baby! (And BA lays down her head on WW's chest, sobbing.) My baby! (and she cradles WW's torso as if it were her baby in her arms already)

WW: looks up, in a haze. She sees Barbara's kind face dripping tears of joy upon her, looming up in the sky, from her laid back perspective. She sees, over Barbara's shoulder, in slow motion...the wings of SS coming into the picture, up in the sky, spread out and magnificent, like a hundred glistening daggers. SS is coming in for the kill - for BA/CH, and WW, in one fell swoop.)

(WW crosses her forearms with BA in the middle, almost like a hug. She closes her eyes and lets out a bright blast. SS is blown away, one last time)

(BA hops up)

BA: What was that? (She looks around, amazed at the chaos and destruction all around. She looks down at WW, and helps her get up on her feet)

(WW can barely stay on her feet. She also looks around. SS lays on the ground, flopping her wings haphazardly, like a boxer who cannot get up. ST is walking back, carrying the lasso which he has retrieved once again. WW raises her arm towards him, almost as if to blast, or was she waving hello, or steadying her balance? ST stops in his tracks. WW cannot do it while looking at him; she turns her head away to the left, burying her eyes in the crook of her arm, and raises her right arm Steve-ward, and blasts him to a crisp.)

BA: You hit Steve! Why did you hit Steve? (BA runs over to ST)

WW: It's not Steve… (she says reluctantly, sad to say it in the presence of the greater part of herself that still wants to believe. She collapses back down to the ground on two knees and a hand, her other hand clutching her heart.)

(ST's jacket has burst into flames in places, and the rest is charcoal; BA takes out her handkerchief to smother the hot spots, and wipe the sooty face. It is Dr. Psycho, unconscious.)

BA: What? (calling back to WW) How did you know?

WW: It's in his kiss. (and she holds her stomach as though retching, so overcome with grief is she, having woken from the fairytale into a nightmare.)

BA: (reviving Dr. Psycho) Dr. Psycho. What are you doing here? Where's Steve? What did you do with Steve?

PSY: There is no Steve.

WW: (wails to the sky, as though the words have pierced her more than any blow of the battle.)

(Dr. Psycho falls back unconscious again, and BA walks back to WW again, hoping for more answers. She rests her hand on WW's curved back, the highest part of her body as she curls to the ground.)

Needless to say, this was the realization which has been haunting WW since last evening, and the cause of any uncharacteristic behavior.

(In the background we see SS has risen; she sets flight, then comes back to scoop up Dr. Psycho, and off she flies with him...)

*Scene: hospital room, from bedside we see a young girl resting, head bandaged. Then two figures in the doorway.

DAUGHTER: (in bed) Mom!

BA: Athena! (BA rushes over and embraces her daughter; WW stays in the doorway)

BA: I thought I lost you!

DAUGHTER: I love you, Mama.

(WW's work is done; she discreetly leaves the doorway)

DAUGHTER: Wait! (to WW; then, to BA) She told me everything, Mom. And I want to help you. (BA pours tears)

(WW limps over, and the three in a group hug put their heads together.)


	5. A Secret

*Scene: Diana's apartment, that night. WW enters with BA.

WW: Excuse the disaster.

BA: Looks like my kitchen. Thanks so much for letting me stay with you tonight. (as they pass quickly through the disaster room into DP's bedroom)

WW: I know how much you wanted to stay with Athena tonight,

BA: But I -

WW: You can't let your cat get to her.

BA: I know.

WW: I'll keep you safe. (WW takes BA by the shoulders) until we get you free.

BA: Cat free. I'd like that. (DP's cat meows in protest)

WW: (digging through her bedroom closet, hands BA a nightgown) Your going to be fine.

BA: (picking up DP's cat) What's your name, little cutie?

WW: "Fred."

(BA looks at the collar, and is perplexed. WW rips off the breakaway collar and tosses it in the waste basket.)

WW: Isn't that right, Fred? (the cat meows in protest)

WW: He'll get used to it.

BA: I'm sorry about your leg. (WW has been limping everywhere, but getting better by the hour.)

WW: It'll be better by morning. The rest of me is healed already. She almost chopped my leg off.

(BA starts brushing her hair, while WW has crashed on her bed, petting the cat.)

BA: I'm confused, about alot of things. So many unanswered questions. I'm only conscious half the day. You'll have to tell me everything that happened, each night, to catch me up. But maybe that can wait until morning. (looks back at WW, who has fallen asleep on top of the covers) Been a long day, hasn't it… A long, long day. (knows WW is asleep but asks anyway) Do you mind if I sleep here with you? (allows a second) No objections. (and BA lifts the covers on the other side of the bed and crawls in, and turns off the light)

(BA tosses and turns, trying to get comfortable. Before long, she turns into Cheetah, and crawls out of bed, and onto the windowsill, doing her grooming, licking her fur - a black silhouette in the open window. She twitches her ears, twists her tail, and then jumps into the night, out the window. WW sleeps through it all.)

*Scene: morning in DP's bedroom. Close up of the alarm clock which goes off, and WW extends her hand to turn it off, but a chain forged to her bracelet prevents her from reaching it. She tries again, but the chain, like a leash, restrains her arm from reaching. She wearily opens her eyes and makes out a number of figures standing around her bed.

WW: Can you turn that off for me?

(the paw of Cheetah smashes down on the alarm, crushing it to pieces)

WW: Thank you, Cheetah. (WW is not yet awake) Barbara? She looks around and sees Cheetah.

CH: Heh.

WW: Steve?

PSY: (coming away from her headboard, lifting a welding mask) Good morning, Diana.

(WW sees SS also in the room)

WW: Helen?

(SS spreads a feather like a thug flipping out a switchblade)

WW: (slowly coming to) ...All my friends have turned into devils.

PSY: You never had any friends, Diana, just a collection of stray cats. Very troubled stray cats.

WW: (awake) Everyone is a stray cat.

PSY: Touché.

WW: What are you doing here? What do you want from me?

PSY: Your ectoplasm.

WW: My what?

PSY: Ectoplasm. Your life force. Chi. Your spirit, so to speak, but not quite so spiritual.

WW: I don't know what you're talking about. (and she yanks on the chains to break free, but it only hurts her arms) What have you done to me?

PSY: I forged your bracelets together. With this. (holds up welder) Try to break free.

WW: (continues to struggle against the chains. They go from one bracelet to the other, and weave through the bars of the metal headboard, to restrain her) I *am* trying.

PSY: Seriously? Well, I guess it works - thank goodness.

WW: Nooo! (lashing out one last time on the chains)

PSY: In answer to your question - yes, you really do lose all your powers when your bracelets are bound together.

(WW is mad, but silent in frustration)

PSY: Any other questions, before we get started?

WW: ...Steve.

PSY: I thought you'd never ask. It all started one evening when a man came to my séance, seeking to get in touch with his great uncle. All he had was this (Dr. Psycho takes a war medal out of his pocket) and he was a blood relative - not a descendant, but a blood relative -

WW: I got it.

PSY: And so I started extracting the ectoplasm of this great uncle,

WW: From his medal and his blood relative?

PSY: It's all I had to work with.

WW: It was Trev, right? Where is he?

PSY: Yes, he said he knew you. Unfortunately I extracted too much ectoplasm from him and he died.

WW: Noooo! (thrashing the chains again)

PSY: Careful or you'll hurt yourself.

(WW continues straining against the chains)

PSY: Do you want to hear this or not?

(WW rests limp and silent, with her eyes closed, tears running down)

PSY: So I was able to extract enough ectoplasm to become this Steve Trevor.

WW: You can never be Steve.

PSY: Right, but it looks like him, acts like him…except when I override him. It thinks it is him.

WW: You're a monster.

PSY: It's always been a goal of mine. Now, Steve Trevor is great - really, I have rarely found ectoplasm so strong for a human. But since I had heard about you, and all that Trev said, I knew that you were the real prize. Steve was impressive, but you are simply divine. Ha ha.

WW: And what would you do with my ectoplasm? Turn into me?

PSY: I was thinking, a combination of you and Steve Trevor. We can mix the two of you, like a good recipe. And luckily, we found more of his stuff among your belongings.

(SS casts ST's watch onto the bed)

PSY: So I have high hopes.

WW: And what will you do, when you turn into this monster?

PSY: If I have time, I'd like to take over the United States this morning. Who knows what we'll do after nap time. (rubbing hands together diabolically.)

WW: (looking to CH and SS) What's in it for you?

(SS lowers her head coyly)

PSY: It turns out they're both in love with me.

(SS gives PSY a dirty look)

PSY: Ok, they're in love with Captain Trevor.

CH: Become Steve!

PSY: Patience, patience, my pretty. We're getting there. (to WW) It turns out Cheetah here is really good at tracking people down. She found me last night and asked me to bring back Mr. Trevor for her, isn't that right, precious? (rubbing CH's head)

CH: Steve… (purring)

WW: You helped me fight.

PSY: I wanted you alive. I can get much more ectoplasm that way.

WW: Steve went to your office - how is that possible?

PSY: I sat behind the taxi driver and put the idea of Dr. Psycho into his head. Then as Steve I went into the exam room, and came out as Dr. Psycho, interviewed Barbara and yourself, then went into Steve's exam room and came out as Steve. You never saw us together. My assistant knew what was going on; no worries, she's been under my mind control for years. But enough storytelling, we need to move along if we're going to accomplish our morning plans.

WW: You said you loved me.

PSY: (as he prepares the ectoplasmatron) Well yes. Now was that me, or the ectoplasm talking?

WW: You said you loved me, in the lasso of Hestia!

PSY: Honey, with those eyes, in the moonlight, with your arms around… I don't think there's a man alive who wouldn't say he loved you. (Is Dr. Psycho blushing?)

(SS looks disapprovingly at PSY)

WW: (quietly, as though it were just he and her and no one else mattered) ...you said you loved me…

PSY: (losing patience) Love, hate, jealousy, envy - they all swirl around together. There's a time for each, and now it's time for the hating! (then) No, I take it back. You are my golden goose, and you will lay me a golden ectoplasmic egg, and I love you for that. I really do. (flipping on the ectoplasmatron) Now start laying.

WW: I won't lay you anything!

(But alas, the ectoplasmatron, a large Doofenshmirtzian contraption, is doing its thing. Like an oversized ice cream cone with the point of the cone pointing towards WW, it draws WW's ectoplasm off of her like steamy vapors rising from her body, and collects them in the large spheric globe of the ice cream itself, so to speak. The whole thing is held up by a pillar-like stand.)

PSY: Lay, my goose! Lay me your golden egg!

(And it seems as if something in particular is about to come out of WW, but she struggles to keep it in.)

PSY: Come to papa!

WW: When we kissed, I knew you were a fiend!

PSY: Yes. I'm sorry. That was me. (SS stares with wide eyes at Dr. Psycho.)

PSY: Look, the egg! (and large brilliant globs of ectoplasm start globbing out of WW and being sucked into the ectoplasmatron's holding sphere, which glows with energy.)

PSY: Another, and another! I've never seen such a thing! (he checks the ectoplasmatron's gauges) I'm pausing the extractor. It's all off the charts!

(and WW lays weak and drained on the bed, like an orange sucked dry, barely conscious.)

CH: Become Steve!

PSY: Yes, my pretty, now for the fun part. (and he places his hands on the ectoplasmatron's holding sphere, and the ectoplasm runs into him, transforming him into Steve, or this time, uber Steve, that is, Captain Wonder. Looks like Steve / powered like Wonder Woman.)

(CH slinks over and walks circles around him, rubbing against his legs, purring loudly.)

(SS blushes and looks at the ground.)

CAPTAIN WONDER: (To SS) Come, my beauty. Come here to my side. (and he draws the two to himself, like two thirsty vampiresses.)

CAPTAIN WONDER: Come, my loves, we have work to do. We parade her down Pennsylvania Avenue, so everyone can see we have conquered our nemesis. We lay her on the president's desk, and slay her in front of him, so he knows he has no protector, and no choice but to surrender.

SS: As long as she dies, I will love you forever. (and SS rests her head against Captain Wonder.)

*cut to wide aerial shot of Pennsylvania Avenue, an eerie procession, Captain Wonder and his Cheetah walk down the street, while Silver Swan flies slowly with them, dangling WW by her chains. Captain Wonder blasts any signs of opposition. Their path is unobstructed.

*Scene: the Oval Office. President Reagan is conferring with his generals. The doors burst open and Captain Wonder struts in.

(Reagan pushes a button on the intercom on his desk)

RR: Call for Wonder Woman.

CAPTAIN WONDER: No need, sir. We brought her right here.

(Cheetah and Silver Swan enter the room, and deal with any opposition from the secret service. Last of all enters Wonder Woman on her own two feet, bound in chains.)

RR: Diana -

(WW looks up at him)

RR: Can you -

(She collapses to her knees, shaking her head sadly "no.")

SS: (to Captain Wonder) Magic Hour is almost over. Be quick, my love.

CAPTAIN WONDER: (To WW) Any last words?

WW: You will not be victorious.

CAPTAIN WONDER: And why would that be?

WW: Because hope springs eternal…from where you might least expect it...from the least likely stray cat…

*Scene: DP's apartment. We see her door, from the inside. The door is slightly ajar. Nothing; and then, a knock.

ETTA: Hello? Etta here. I came about the room. (a pause, and she knocks again) Anybody home? Mind if I come in for a look-see?

(Etta peeks inside the apartment, and welcomes herself in, talking somewhat loudly and a bit nervously, in case there is anyone home)

ETTA: The name's Etta. Kind of an old fashioned name, isn't it. 'After my grandmum, God bless her. …I was just out having a jog… gotta keep in shape, you know! Or *get* in shape. Somehow I never change shape - but anyhow, saw the flyer and thought I'd stop by.

(Etta sees the couch and general disaster in the living room)

ETTA: Had a bit of a tousle here, didn't we… (Etta is leaving, but then she hears strange humming, crackling sounds coming from the bedroom.)

ETTA: (at the door to the bedroom, which is slightly ajar) Is everything quite alright? (no response) Do you need any help? I'm good at helping. Can I help you in there? Anyone need rescuing? (and she pushes the door open, and enters the bedroom, where the ectoplasmatron's holding sphere is swirling with ectoplasm, glowing suspiciously, and emitting weird sounds.)

ETTA: Oh dear, what have we here? Anybody in here? (she looks for anyone incapacitated) Well, I'll just be going. Not my cup of tea, I guess you'd say! (as she walks somewhat quickly down the short hall to the door, eager to be gone.)

(in front of the door stands DP's cat.)

ETTA: Hi there little fellow. Are you going to be ok?

(cat meows)

ETTA: Excuse me if you will, sir. (and she steps around him)

(cat meows at her and scampers up the short hallway to the bedroom.)

ETTA: Oh no, sweetie pie, you don't want to go in there! (and she hurries after the cat)

(the cat takes one last look back at Etta, and enters the bedroom)

(Etta re-enters the bedroom, but does not see the cat anywhere. The ectoplasmatron, however, piques her curiosity. She goes to have a closer look.)

(She eyes the holding sphere suspiciously, with its swirling clouds of ectoplasm within, and glowing aura without. She ventures a finger to touch it gingerly with a tap, but is not brave enough to make contact.)

(Suddenly the cat leaps towards her, startling her, and she steadies herself with a hand on the sphere. Her transformation begins.)

(Etta lights up from head to toe, sparking with ectoplasm. Her leg warmers change into the boots of an Amazon, her sweatshirt becomes a tight bodice of red; her wristbands have turned into gauntlets of femium, and her headband now rests as a golden tiara. She looks like Wonder Woman, only more powerful, if that is possible, with lightning crawling all over her body; even a lasso appears in her hand).

(Etta is brimming with power and with awe. She twists her head to the side, making the classic neck cracking sound, ready for a fight. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror.)

ETTA: (voice of Etta, but face of WW) Oh my.

(DP's cat rubs against Wonder Etta's legs, purring. Then the cat hunkers down, looks straight into the camera, and pounces!)

*Queue electric cello.

*Queue the third film, in which Wonder Etta comes to the rescue, Dr. Psycho is defeated, Silver Swan turns to the light and is redeemed, and Barbara Ann Minerva heads off to Africa in hope of a cure. And Wonder Woman gets a good roommate and a best friend: Etta.

~ The End ~

*But wait; there is a mid-credits scene.

*Themyscira. The book of tales; Antiope tells the story while the painting comes to life in slow motion, and then comes to life in epic live action.

Painting of the Amazons in chains.

ANTIOPE: Mankind enslaved the Amazons in cruel bondage, suppressing our powers, until your mother led a rebellion, breaking our bonds and restoring our glory.

(scenes of Amazons shackled, and then Hippolyta's cavalry smashing their chains and leading them into battle. The Amazons tear up their oppressors in epic live action, and win a glorious victory.)

ANTIOPE: Diana, never allow yourself to be shackled in bondage. Listen carefully, my dear one: if ever a man should forge your bracelets together, your powers will vanish, until you are free.

CHILD DIANA: My powers?

ANTIOPE: Later you will understand. Remember this always. Promise me you will remember!

CHILD DIANA: I promise.

ANTIOPE: Never let anyone know of this mystery; lock it in your heart, never to be opened, or a terrible doom will befall you and crush you. Do you understand? _Never tell anyone this secret._

(fade to black. And then, in the black, we hear only the child's voice)

CHILD DIANA: If it is a secret, why did you tell me?


End file.
